During my 33 years, I have witnessed two cataclysmic events that have brought our economy to its knees, unleashed grave uncertainty about the future, as well as heightened the sense of unity that comes from such an experience. The first one was 9-11. I was 14 years old and had just been in high school for a matter of weeks. I remember hearing of a pilot crashing into the WTCs and just assumed it was an accident, then seeing the news that flashed "America Under Attack" for the next 24 hours, and the ill-planned attack against the Middle East that still haunts our foreign relations today.
Now 19 years later, I find myself in an analogous situation: COVID-19. Yet in this case, we are fighting a silent killer, and rather than inciting an "us versus them" mentality, our whole globe is united in battling this virus while maintaining our emotional, spiritual, and physical health. We are all washing our hands like never before, ordering grocery delivery, and fumbling through Zoom to maintain a sense of normalcy for work and socialization. And yet we are all in this sense of collective mourning as we have all suffered a grave loss: the inability to gather as family and friends, enjoy the ritual of festivals, March Madness and concerts as part of heralding spring; and witnessed the bizarre acts of human nature that come with such an event (read toilet paper hoarding, the rise of fake news, etc). I have had to come to terms with my own sense of grief--the loss of connecting with friends, dating, and forcing to treat others as if they are inundated with germs that will make me ill. And of course, a palpable sadness cascades over me as I read of the rising deaths, domestic violence and unemployment figures and knowing that a person lies behind these statistics: those who can no longer pay their bills, those who have died without a familiar face beside them, and those whose home is not the safe haven that I know.
Other thoughts have crossed my mind. Amidst this strange period, I have also felt like I am experiencing a sliver of the past. I think of the pioneers and my frontier ancestors who had no choice but to social distance; a visit from a neighbor a few miles away was a rare treat. I think of those long ago who had to content themselves with solitary activities and looked forward to the dances and gatherings that occurred only occasionally. I have realized that I need to learn how to content myself with doing activities on my own, as I cannot always lean on a life full of heightened social activity. Being still single, I have realized that this trait is something that I need to refine.
This virus has also made me think more profoundly about my cushy upper-class existence. It was certainly a humbling moment receiving toilet paper as a belated birthday present--and to realize that others across the globe have a perennial inability to access clean water and toiletries. I struggled coming to terms with my paycut and layoff that increased my workload--then immediately remember those 6.5 million workers who would happily be in my position.
I also wonder about the sense of renewal that will come from this pandemic. To some extent, our society was already well-versed in social distancing before COVID ever hit us: the texting instead of a phone call, looking to Googlemaps rather than asking someone for directions. I like to think that people will be more prone to speak with each other and have a conversation. I like to think of the beautiful art and creativity that is being produced right now as people try to find ways to stay occupied in their homes. I like to think that we will feel a sense of renewal and a heightened sense of gratitude for the sense of normalcy that we are so often afforded. I like to think that the bonds of friends and family will be cherished even more than before. I like to think that those who may have not leaned toward religion may consider the presence of a higher Being who can direct and provide comfort at this time. And most of all, my prayer is that all of us will see ourselves not just as a citizen of our state or county, but as a member of the globe, where we all breathe the same air, swim in the same oceans, and shelter ourselves from the natural elements. It's a shame that a virus had to be the great equalizer for us all, but I hope that it continues.
