Holy Spaces, Prayer Rolls, and Being Remembered in Mecca

As many of you know, I was able to visit my parents in Doha, Qatar over break. It's a country that is largely bereft of grass, has more construction cranes than I could count, and has unrestrained pride in hosting the 2022 World Cup.  Somehow, though, my parents and brothers have learned to call it home, and seeing them so happily situated was one of the best parts about living there.

Upon arrival, my mother was anxious to introduce me to A-Beer, her neighbor next door, and one of my mother's close friends. She is a beautiful young Muslim mother from Jordan who had declined a lucrative engineering career to raise five children. Somehow, however, she had found time to give my mother rides and prepare her to pass Qatar's stringent driving test (no small task). My mother's highly coveted driver's license and acclimation to Qatar can be partly attributed to A-Beer and her kindness.

I finally had a chance to meet A-Beer after she and her family had returned from Mecca. For those who are unaware, a Muslim's trip to Mecca is a powerfully spiritual pilgrimage, as they have the chance to walk and pray around the Ka'aba seven times. The Ka'aba  is Islam's holiest site, as its foundations were built by Abraham and Ishmael. Muslims all over the world turn their bodies towards this site every day of their life, so the experience of seeing the Ka-aba first hand can only be described as a most sacred experience.

Upon our arrival to their house, A-Beer's small children told us about their visit to the Ka'aba and were anxious for us to try the zamzam water. This water is called miraculous, as it is thought to be from the same location where the Hagar quenched her thirst in the wilderness after her expulsion. As this water is highly prized and considered to have special healing properties, I was touched that they would want to share their zamzam water with me.

But the most poignant moment occurred when A-Beer told me that she had prayed for our whole family as she walked around the Ka'aba. She had even prayed for me to get married! I was astonished that she would even bother to to pray for our family, let alone for someone like me whom she had never met, when making the most spiritual trip of her life. But somehow, I had been remembered and prayed for in a part of the world that I have never been, have no connection to, and never will be allowed to enter.

Yet in A-Beer's mind, she probably prayed for me and my family because she knew that as a non-Muslim, I would never be able to enter and pray toward the Ka-aba. So, she had taken upon herself to give a prayer for me in a literal space that I was not allowed to occupy, in hopes that I could receive the same blessing from the Ka'aba that she enjoyed.

After meeting A-Beer, I have not only reflected  on the oft inherent selfishness of my own prayers, but also my gratitude of being a member of the church that is concerned with the same problem that A-Beer recognized in her own religion. I am grateful that when I enter a Mormon temple, I can go to our prayer roll and write down the name of someone who is in need of a blessing. While our temples, like Mecca, also restrict non-believers from entering, no one is excluded from our prayer rolls. Rather, their names are placed on our temple altar, one of our temple's holiest sites, and prayed for in a fervent and heartfelt manner. I have also reflected on my need to be a more active participant in temple work, where I do have the chance to give my deceased ancestors blessings in a space that they cannot physically occupy either.

I am grateful for a religion like Islam, which may restrict its holy city to believers, but will not forbid believers from sharing holy zamzam water and praying for non-Muslims like me. And I am grateful for Mormon temples that may limit its entrants to those who are sufficiently prepared, but where potentially anyone can be a recipient of its blessings.

Photo Credit to Kashif Aziz

My unexpected path to Harvard Business School

If you will indulge me, this post will be more autobiographical than my previous posts. Life is full of interesting twists and unexpected turns, but I am starting to believe that nothing in life is coincidence. I have better understood this principle recently, as I started my job at Harvard Business School this past week. While I am still trying to figure out my purpose of staying in Boston, this week has made me understand two things: God is very interested in my life, and my previous experiences have truly prepared me for this new career.

I'll start with my job in DC. About a week after I graduated from BYU, I accepted a job as an editorial assistant with the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. While it was interesting to be on the front end of important scientific scholarship, my job was very routine, and I often yearned for something more. Graduate school in English had always been one of my goals, and I felt strongly to leave DC to pursue graduate work Boston College (hence my blog name "From DC to BC").

Fast forward two years: I graduated from my program and soon realized that in my job search, I could, quite literally, go anywhere. While it was somewhat thrilling to consider my vast options, I also felt more overwhelmed than I had ever been in a long time. I prayed intensely, asking God where he wanted me to be and to please make the right job become obvious to me.

I ended up being a finalist for a position that I was really excited about in DC. It happened to be at the think tank where I had interned several years ago, and I was thrilled about the prospect of going back there. My interviews seemed promising, and I couldn't help but believe that I would get the job--only to feel crestfallen when they picked someone else.

My inspired bishop called me a day or two after to ask me how my job search was going. I told him about my recent disappointment, and he invited me to come to his office to discuss my career goals. We met on Sunday, and he asked me if I had considered a Research Associate role at Harvard Business School. I was surprised at his suggestion, seeing that I have little understanding of business to begin with. I followed his advice, however, and found a position of interest. My bishop soon connected me with his colleague (who happened to be head of Human Resources at Harvard Business School!) and I was invited for an interview several days later.

When I arrived, my interviewer made it clear that while they did not believe I had the right background for the position I had applied for, a better fit for me could open up. She asked me if I wanted to proceed with an hour-long interview and another hour-long writing test. I swallowed some disappointment, but agreed to do so.

Imagine my surprise the following week when I got a voicemail and email from my interviewer. She explained that a job had just opened up, she believed that I was a good fit for the job, and asked if she could tell me more about it! I was shocked and surprised: for the first time, a job had found me, and not the other way around!

Long story short: I met with the HBS professor, liked him immediately, and soon realized that I was largely being courted for the position because of my graduate work and my previous job at the National Academy of Sciences. I soon realized there was no possible way that I would have been considered for this job were it not for the experiences that God had placed in my path.

So, that's my drawn-out tale of my unexpected road to Harvard. And while I am still in shock and humbled to work where I do, I am grateful for an inspired bishop, the support I experienced during my job search, and most of all, for a God who is mindful of giving me opportunities to help me progress in my career and other facets of my life.

I love my job so far at Harvard; there is no way that I could have found a better opportunity, benefits, commute (15-minute bike ride!), and people to work with. I know there was some divine intervention here; I literally could not have landed the opportunity on my own. I am so blessed!

Photo by nsub1

The Blessings of Uncertainty

So far, 2014 has been the year of unprecedented uncertainty and significant life changes. As I deeply crave the satisfaction of having full confidence of what my next step should be, this year has been one of the most difficult, yet strangely enlightening periods of my life thus far. While I have not yet acquired a full vision of where my life is supposed to go, I would like to take the time to share some of the lessons I am learning from dealing with a deeply volatile period.

1. Allow times of uncertainty to provide instruction of how God speaks to you.
For me, it has been the times of spiritual thirst and nourishment, not the times of plenty, that I have come to better terms with how revelation works. When we do not know what job we should accept, what city to move to, whether a romantic relationship is right, or anything else that weighs heavily on our mind, our prayers will likely have more supplication. Our scripture study will be more meaningful. We will be much more attuned to obtaining the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. And in those times, we can acquire a much deeper understanding of how divine revelation works for us.
 
2. Uncertainty provides a way to be a more powerful agent of our choices
God is molding us to be active agents, not passive people. He has equipped us with the divine gift of reasoning and the Holy Ghost to make decisions for ourselves. We may not have all of the knowledge we need to make a significant choice. But more often than not, we will have enough. It is the uncertain, not the obvious decisions, that we will truly be molded into becoming beings of a more mature, spiritual understanding.

3. Answers to the life decisions we seek will eventually come.
While I do not have the complete answers to all of the life decisions I am seeking, I have a clearer picture of where I am going than I did several months ago. The plan is unfolding--at a more glacial pace than I would like it to be--but it is moving. If the answers I am seeking are of urgent importance, then they will come to me.

4. If we are living our lives the way we should, we won't go down the incorrect path.
Going to church, reading scriptures, and praying daily are more than simply good patterns of living: they are paramount for ensuring the Holy Ghost's active role in our lives. With the Holy Ghost's presence, we can have faith that we will enjoy the blessings of guidance and protection.

5.  Times of precarious uncertainty may be the necessary catalyst for revelation.
Maybe we should rethink adversity as a period where God is preparing us for a significant, revelatory experience. Could Joseph Smith, Moses, Abraham, and many other prophets have been prepared for their divine experiences, without the trials they encountered first?

Photo by Jan Sefti.

Confronting Doubt: Notes from Terryl Givens' talk at Harvard Divinity School

This past Saturday, I had the marvelous opportunity to listen to Richard Bushman, and Terry and Fiona Givens speak on confronting doubt. This blog post will be a 3-part series, devoted to the main takeaways from this conference from each speaker. I'm going to start with Dr. Terryl Givens.

Terryl Givens:

No question comes in a vacuum. It comes with presuppositions, worldviews. Sometimes we may not be getting answers to because we are not asking the right questions. Several paradigm shifts may be helpful for us to ask the right questions.

1. Analysis of utterance of prophets.

According to someone not of our faith, prophets are those who experience sympathy with a divine pathos. They feel God's voice and hear his heart (I'll get the direct quote).

Perhaps many of our questions would be answered if we saw God in this kind of fashion, not as a transcriber or secretary writing down God's words verbatim.

2. Use/Abuse of Reason.

We don't rely on reason to the extent that we think we do. Art, love, and conscience are all vital for us for us to interpret reality.

Art does not merely entertain, but gives human emotion its due. It gives us the sense that we need another kind of reality.

Love is another form of knowledge. Certain aspects of reality become visible through love. Love does not blur reality, it enhances it.

What gives a better understanding of who I am: a DNA mapping, or my relationship with my spouse and children?

3. Provocation/Peace

As a church, we have a horror of loose ends. We want pressing questions answered.

Think of William Blake's "Little Lamb" from Song of Innocence. The author asks "Little Lamb who made thee," and then answers the question directly by explaining who God is.  Conversely, think of his other poem "Tyger Tyger," from Song of Innocence. This poem asks who could possibly have created such a beast with "fearful symmetry." Unlike the aforementioned poem, the question is not answered.

One of the great strengths of Mormon theology (and often overlooked) is that we don't expect every question to have answers.

Think of John chapter 6, when many of Christ's followers were defecting. Christ turns to his disciples and asks "Will ye also go away?" Peter replies, saying, "To whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life."

Peter did not stay with Christ because Christ could answer all of his questions.

Religion does not offer cheap solutions.
We want a script--we are given a blank canvas instead.
We want a road map--we get a compass (or a Liahona).

Don't close the shutter of your camera because you can't see the entire mountain.

4. True Worship/Function of Church.

Worship first appears in the Old Testament when Abraham is about to sacrifice his son. It first appears in the New Testament when the three kings are about to give their gifts to the Savior.

Perhaps worship is not about what we are receiving. It's about what we are voluntarily giving up.

The organization of a ward may be viewed as a replication of a family--you can't run away from your brothers and sisters at church. It's one of the best places where we can learn to love our neighbor.

Dietrich Bonhoffer: "Cheap grace is the moral enemy of the church."

5. Perils of Hero Worship (or putting our church leaders on a pedestal).

Dostoyevsky articulated this problem well: "The devout are convinced that they are seeking what is good, true, and holy--while they are actually seeking a keeper of their conscience."

When George Albert Smith was prophet, an article stated that "when leaders speak, the thinking has been done." President Smith repudiated this statement, saying that this was a gross misinterpretation of our doctrine.

Look to Gideon in the Old Testament as a great example of the perils of hero worship. Or look at Doctrine and Covenants 124:1. The Lord clearly states that Joseph is a prophet so he can perform miracles through the weak things of the world. Joseph's flaws are evident throughout the scriptures.

Principle of Delegation: when God gives fallible humans to act in his place, we should expect and assume that flaws will arise. We need to look to our leaders "in all patience and faith." (Doctrine and Covenants 21:5).

6. Use/Abuse of Scriptures

Interesting how the word "canon" if you add another "n" has the same sound, but completely different meaning (cannon). Our scriptural canon can become a "cannon"when we wrest them for ourselves.

Joseph Smith had a horror of literalism when it came to scripture. 

Lots of people wonder why the Old Testament God is such a fearful, vengeful God.  Our church would do well to look at the Documentary Hypothesis: the theory that four authors wrote the first four books of Moses.

The Bible is full of uninspired moments.

7.  Mormons and Monopolies.

Lots of people have a problem with Mormon exclusivity--that we are the only people to be saved That's not what Joseph Smith taught.

Look at Revelation 12, where they speak of "the woman fleeing into the wilderness" and being nourished for 1000 years. The woman is supposed to represent the church. What does this mean?

"When God have prophets, he speaks to poets." (don't know who said that). God certainly inspired musicians, poets, artists during the Great Apostasy. (Totally agree--who can doubt Milton, Donne, Shakespeare, Michelangelo were not inspired).

We have a lot of spiritual generosity when it comes to salvation. Prior to Mormonism, other sects were thinking of God being more generous in terms of how many people could be saved (Universalists, Campbellites, etc). So what is the role of ordinances when it comes to a more generous view of salvation?

It comes down to baptisms for the dead!

Shared an anecdote of being on a radio station with a Jewish host who asked "Why is the Mormon church still baptizing all of my dead Jewish ancestors?" (This was when the news reported that our church was still baptizing Holocaust victims). Givens referred to Christ's parable that invited all to the wedding feast, explaining that baptizing for these dead Jewish ancestors was like putting them on a guest list. They are not obligated to attend the great feast, but they are on the list, if they want to attend.
The Jewish radio host said, "That's one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard."

8. Evil/Suffering (I think this was another paradigm shift).

Referred to Edward Beecher (brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, famous theologian).
Beecher believed in a pre-existence, war in heaven. He taught that other spirits who did not want mortality were afraid of the specter of suffering they would experience. That should be a sobering doctrine for us--the knowledge that our earth life would be an immersion of suffering made 1/3 of God's spirit children to rebel.

9. Principle of Invisible Church
The world is sprinkled with truth everywhere. God told Joseph Smith about "holy people which we know not of" (D&C 49). We can find a spiritual brotherhood with all mankind.

D&C section 10--seems to be instigated by the sense that there is a larger community that our church should be a part of.

Response to Questions:

Our Doctrine of the Fall:

We are the only church that teaches that the Fall was not a catastrophe. Eve had to make a difficult decision between security of the garden and obtaining wisdom. Life is not often a decision between good and evil. We best form our characters when we are choosing between good, better, best. Life is the most formative when we are making impossibly difficult decisions.

Why I am becoming uncomfortable with the Ordain Women Movement

When first hearing of the Ordain Women's Movement's desire to attend the General Priesthood session, I was intrigued. While I do not agree with their views, I nonetheless saw them as faithful sisters who had a genuine question to ask our church leaders: could they attend? And could they be viewed as prospective elders? I believed their planned event to be respectful, as they sought no deceptive means of entry and did not intend to carry signs or banners. Most important, I believe in asking questions to God as well as our church leaders to achieve greater clarity and understanding. And from my perspective, I perceived that they were doing just that.

On Tuesday morning, the Church announced its decision regarding the Ordain Women's request. They were denied tickets, but remarkably, our leaders implemented a seminal adjustment: they would allow the General Priesthood session to be broadcast live, and invited these women to watch it, should they choose. For a church that institutes changes at a glacial pace, I was surprised and pleased. I immediately felt the love of our leaders who heard these women's earnest desire and enacted a decision that I think works well as a compromise. 

The Ordain Women Movement then, has received an answer to their posed question. However, the response given by Kate Kelly (the movement's founder) made me wince:

"We will be in the line for standby tickets to the priesthood session on Oct. 5 to demonstrate our continued willingness and desire to attend. We are demonstrating our faith by standing at the door and knocking."

Kelly's statement, I believe, now marks her as a protester (a title that she was ironically trying to eschew in the first place.)  But what makes me uncomfortable is that she considers flouting our church leaders' decision as a sign of faith. And I cannot stand by that. When our church teaches, "Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you," it does not necessarily always mean that we will "receive" the answer that we want. Rather, when auxilary church leaders state their answer (and show a willingness to adjust), I believe that they represent the Lord's voice on earth, giving me reason to hearken. Unfortunately, I don't believe these women's decision to stand in line will help create a spiritual ambiance for an important meeting.

Instead, I believe that the Ordain Women Movement will be more effective if they continue to propagate civil dialogue on this issue. It is obvious that they are smart, faithful women, and I respect their ability to articulate their points. And in return, I pray that disagreeing members will display charitable measures toward their opinions (see my post on toleration). They are, after all, our sisters in the gospel. While I do not support female ordination, I stand behind cultural and institutional changes to help women better understand their divine potential (see this post). I am not sure if all of my envisioned changes will ever be realized. But with the recent lowered mission ages for women, thoughtful conversations on chastity and modesty, and adjustments to the Young Women Program, I believe that I have many reasons to be optimistic.

Perhaps we are not going to have every change we want on our timetable, if ever. But if we believe that this church is led by Christ himself through a prophet and apostles, then let's stand by what they say. And if our received answer to a desire is "no" or "not yet," let us pray for greater faith and understanding--as well as an increased willingness to yield to the Lord's timing.*

*This sentence has been slightly changed to include the phrase "or not yet."

Photo by David McConeghy

Beyond Hemlines: How I plan to teach my daughter about modesty

I am a single woman with no daughters of my own. However, in reading several recent articles about modesty, from a father using creative measures to teach appropriate dress, to even an exploration of how Pope Francis is a paragon of a modest lifestyle (a view that I especially appreciated), I have been musing how I plan to teach my girls this principle. While I recognize there is a place to teach women modesty in terms of their relation to men, I believe that our modesty discussions can be more enlightening when they are more grounded in the scriptures. I wish to teach my daughters that modesty is an necessary attitude that is prerequisite to receiving personal revelation.

Certainly, covering oneself appropriately has been in place from the very beginning. Consider how Adam and Eve, when, finding they were naked in the Garden of Eden, made makeshift clothing from fig leaves prior to speaking to God. In doing so, I believe that they both established a precedent of covering oneself appropriately prior to receiving further divine instruction. The act of dressing modestly then, may be viewed as an outward manifestation of one's willingness to hear the voice of the Lord in our lives. Moreover, God continues to enforce this principle of modesty as he prepares coats of skins for them to wear, prior to their exit from Eden (Genesis 3:19).

But modest dress is only half the equation when it comes to acquiring divine counsel; it involves our spirit as well. While we do not emphasize it enough, our church also teaches that modesty includes appropriate language and behavior. In acquiring a spirit of modesty then, we can look to Philippians 4:8:

"Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and and if there be any praise, think on these things." (Phil. 4:8).

When our outer dress is mirrored by our inner spirit, we can teach young women that they will feel God's peace within them (Philippians 4:9). And just as the temple is a sanctuary for hearing the Lord's voice, so should we take care to ensure that our physical body is a safe edifice for our spirit to receive divine guidance.

I hope that our modesty discussions can look beyond explaining the length of a skirt, a shirt's degree of tightness, or a shirt's neckline. Rather, we can give our young women a sense of empowerment as a they learn that they are indeed capable of seeing God's hand about their lives--provided that they are willing to prepare themselves, both in body and spirit.  
  
Photo by Wikipedia.

"In All Patience and Faith": The Need to Sustain Our Leaders

This evening, I had a humbling moment when I was gently reminded of the importance of sustaining our church leaders "in all patience and faith" (D&C 21:5). It is important to recall that our church leaders, though I believe them to be divinely called, are nonetheless fallible people. Yet as I have also expressed, I believe that generally speaking, a church leader's willingness to spend ample time on their calling throughout the week is a strong indication of their sincerity toward their flock. I would like to share an example.

This evening, I attended a forum hosted by our stake president (a leader who oversees several congregations of our churches), where he invited us to ask questions about two controversial issues the church is facing: priesthood ordination for women and homosexuality. One woman asked him a question about why priesthood ordination is not available to women, and our stake president attempted to answer this question briefly through what he called a "business management" comparison, which I and some other women found perplexing, if not troubling. While I do not believe in female ordination for women, I wanted further clarification as to what he meant by his comment. I raised my hand and politely asked if he could expand his comparison further, so that I could gain further insight.

I never could have predicted what happened next. He immediately stated that his comparison fell flat, and apologized for making it in the first place. I was surprised and slightly embarrassed, as I certainly did not intend to make a stake president appear foolish in front of an audience. But as I sat down, I saw a priesthood leader whom I could support wholeheartedly.

Why? some may ask. After all, he did not answer the question. But as I sat down, I saw a priesthood holder who cared enough about our group to the extent that he was willing to be hurled questions that did not likely have a clear answer. I saw a priesthood holder who is trying to grapple with difficult questions his congregation members have and attempting to articulate them to the best of his capabilities. Finally, I saw a priesthood holder who was courageous to admit his fallibility.

I did not come away from the meeting with answers that necessarily absolved all of my questions. But I did leave with a greater resolve to sustain and support this priesthood holder who, alongside us, is trying to comb through a torrent of complexity that does not involve simple answers. How can I not show love and patience to this leader who, an engineer by profession, has a position where he becomes a marriage counselor, therapist, disciplinarian, and a perceived expert on church doctrine? And how can I not offer my sustaining hand to a leader who is striving to fulfill all of these titles to the best of his capabilities?

Let us be merciful and forgiving to our leaders who are in a position that they did not ask for. Let us attempt to show support toward their efforts, "in all patience and faith."

Photo by Wikimedia Commons.